My Immortal
by Danni-2005
Summary: Danny’s life becomes impossible knowing he’s ruined someone else’s life. It’s even worse knowing it’s his best friend. Book Four of the Fallen Series.
1. Prologue

**__**

My Immortal

Summary: Danny's life becomes impossible knowing he's ruined someone else's life. It's even worse knowing it's his best friend.

Rating: PG-13 for mature themes and language.

Disclaimer: I do not own Danny Phantom, Butch Hartman does. I do not own My Immortal, Evanescence does.

Prologue

I'm so tired of being here.

The phone rang splitting through the deafening silence that seemed to hover over the house for the past two months. Blake looked up from his scribbling over a picture of big bird to Sam. She reached over the back of the couch she was sitting on to grab the portable phone. She hit the talk button and pressed the phone to her ear. "Hello?"

"Samantha?" She froze recognizing the voice instantly. Her throat closed unable to reply. "Sam?"

She swallowed hard, forcing her voice to work against its will. "Bryce," she stated simply. The little boy dropped his head back to his coloring having no idea what was going on, just aware that it wasn't his mom. She wished it were Tammy. Actually, she would have preferred anyone but the irate attorney who had lost her custody case.

"I'm sorry to hear about Ryan." Her back stiffened at those simple words she had heard a million times since the funeral. There were times when Sam was sure that the whole English language had reduced to that sentence. She sat silently, waiting for him to continue. After all these times she still hadn't found a response that fit.

He cleared his throat though. "I do have some news, though." He sighed. "In light of Ryan's death and the lose of the unborn child, Judge McKlintock decided it would be better off if you were allowed to stay with the Fenton's so that you could get through this."

Sam felt everything inside her stop. She was going back to live with Danny. A shudder crept up her spine. She wasn't ready to face him again. She didn't know if she ever would be able to face him again. She opened her mouth to protest, but closed it instantly. What could she say? As far as the world knew, Danny Fenton had nothing to do with the murder of Ryan Carter. And as much as she hated that, she couldn't bring herself to change that.

There were some points that she would do anything to tell someone. That she would come so close to telling she would actually grab Tammy or Everett and tell them she needed to talk to them. But then seeing the look of pain on that still lingered in their eyes and she couldn't do it. She knew that pain of losing a child. It was bad enough she knew why her son had to die. She couldn't bring herself to place the burden on someone else as well.

Bryce was saying something. She wondered how much she missed. For all she caught was, "One of the Fenton's will come get you on the nineteenth." And with a quick brisk goodbye, the familiar voice was gone.

****

A new book. Yeah-ya! Check out these daily updates! Don't they rock? Thanks to the following reviewers on Taking Over Me Epilogue: The Fuzy Llama, Dragonslayer527, sorrybutiamhonest, Silverflare07, Sakura Scout, Hwoarangsguardie, autumngold, Samster The Hamster, Moody Maud, Medisti, Ryo's destiny, The Good Girl, RainbowSerenity, cheerin4danny x2, MayB, WormmonABC, getfuzzyfan04, Spice Of Life x3, Danielle Phantom, RainbowSerenity, RavenForever, and Mrs. Granger-Weasley. You guys are sooo Kewl!


	2. Chapter One

**__**

My Immortal

Summary: Danny's life becomes impossible knowing he's ruined someone else's life. Its even worse knowing it's his best friend.

Rating: PG-13 for mature themes and language.

Disclaimer: I do not own Danny Phantom, Butch Hartman does. I do not own My Immortal, Evanescence does.

Chapter One

Suppressed by all my childish fears.

The front door slammed and was followed immediately by heavy footsteps up the stairs. This was followed immediately by the slamming of another door. Danny dropped his book bag to the floor. It landed with a heavy thud. He kicked of his shoes aiming in the general direction of his dresser. Falling to the bed, Danny closed his bloodshot eyes. He hadn't slept in weeks. Not really. Sleep was when you lied down and rested willingly. What he was doing was pushing himself to go through days at a time till he would just collapse.

He fell back onto his bed and stared at the ceiling without ever really seeing it. Unfocused blue eyes glazed with the vacant stare. This was becoming routine. He would lie here, not able to remember what he had done throughout the day. He was ignoring all ghost threats. Danny Phantom was never going to exist again. Sam had been the one who had convinced him to embrace the new persona. 'It makes you unique,' she grinned. So much for unique.

He wasn't blaming her. Heck, he didn't think he could blame her for anything if he wanted to. It was hard to blame something on someone who hates you. He sat up suddenly. His head flared in pain with the blood-rush and spots appeared before him. He blinked them away and slowly walked to the computer. He dropped into the chair after pushing the on button. He closed his eyes. He watched the stats roll across a black screen as it loaded. It caused the back of his eyes to hurt.

He didn't really need to do this. He had it memorized anyway. But despite that fact, as soon as windows loaded he double-clicked Outlook Express. It came up with his email. He clicked on a folder on the left-hand menu. It was just entitled 'New Folder'. He couldn't think of anything that he could bring himself to name it. A dialogue box appeared in the middle of the screen.

He stared at it for a moment tired brain refusing to function. He finally brought his hands to the keyboard and typed the eight letter word that had been the only thing they'd parted with. But that was late December, it was now almost March. He hit the enter key and the wave of self-loathing came just as always. He read the last email she had sent him. Dry, bloodshot eyes skimmed the lines. A dark feeling churned inside him but he didn't do anything to stop it. He almost embraced it. He deserved every agonizing moment of it.

He read her pleading with him to forgive her for being a hormonal brat. Thanking him for spending one last day with her. It was dated December 21, the same date that was written on Christopher Bailey's tombstone. He wondered if he would have gotten it before hand what would have happened. It hurt to think about it. He wished he could say it would have changed something, that it would have changed everything. But there was no way to know. He could have stopped it, he could have fought it harder. But he couldn't think of anyway to fight it more than he hadn't. He had been a weakling and Sam had been the one who paid it for him.

It wasn't fair. But then life wasn't fair. None of this was fair. If life was fair, Sam would still be the bright-eyed rich girl from freshman year. If life was fair, he wouldn't be a half-ghost. If life was fair, he wouldn't have three innocent people's blood all over his hands. That thought made his stomach churning. His mind flashed back to the split second he had finally broken free of the apparition's grasp. He had looked down and seen his hands covered with Chris' blood and Sam's limp form lying before him. The thought made bile rise in his throat.

He swallowed hard, squeezing his eyes shut, trying desperately to get rid of the image. Again it still lingered. Just like yesterday and the day before that. He used to be able to avoid it but lately he had stopped fighting it. Why should he? He disserved every horrible moment of it. He closed his eyes and just let the whole series of events play behind closed eyes. The horrible scream, Sam falling lifeless to the snow, the wave of rage, the second shot in retaliation at Ryan before he finally managed to get control again.

He opened his eyes, sitting there loathing himself. If he had been stronger he could have saved them. He could have saved them all. Chris, Ryan, even Jacob. Especially Jacob. He had killed her baby. The child he had wished with all his heart was his and not some monsters, the one he had lied to parenting when Sam had asked. He hadn't deserved to die. In fact if anyone deserved to die, it was him. He sat for a moment that horrible thought ringing endlessly through his mind.

Danny suddenly sat up straight, a fierce determination burning in bloodshot blue eyes. He pulled open a desk drawer where he was sitting. He pushed a side a roll of masking tape and a stapler looking desperately for something. His hand closed around a curved handle. Suddenly, something Sam confided in him rang through his mind, 'Everything's a weapon. You just have to be desperate enough to see it as that.' He picked up the pair of silver scissors and stared at them blankly for a moment.

He remembered Sam's sliced wrist, could almost remember the feeling of pressing his palm against the wound trying to stop the bleeding. He opened up the scissors. Wrapping his fingers around the right blade, he pressed his thumb against the hinge, holding it in place. He looked at the silver blade glinting in the light given off from the displayed email. It somehow seemed symbolic. He briefly wondered if it would hurt to do this. He knew it wouldn't kill him. He didn't want it too. He wanted to suffer. He disserved to suffer. Maybe, he even needed to.

He placed the blade against his skin. The vein had almost a greenish tint to it. He'd never noticed that before. It wasn't something he did, just sitting around contemplating his wrist. His hands shook slightly, and he curled the left into a fist while his right gripped the scissors harder. He swallowed. He needed to do this. Maybe it would give him some peace, just enough to sleep at night or be able to eat again. He couldn't starve to death. He disserved so much worse than that.

Danny drew the blade across in a swift motion. He paused there was no feeling of freedom that Sam had described so enraptured. He looked down and his eyes darkened. The skin wasn't broken. The top part was wrinkled, snagged on edge. But there was no blood, no redemption. He pulled back the open scissors laid the edge flush against the inside of his forearm. He pressed hard and it sank in neatly.

He hissed at the sensation. It made his scalp crawl and he felt almost as if he wasn't in control of himself anymore, a feeling he feared more than death itself. He pulled the blade back and let it slip from his shaking fingers to fall to the floor with a metallic thud. He watched the blood leek out. It wasn't as deep of a wound as Sam's and it wasn't near as thin or as clean of a cut. Of course, Sam's was an attempted goodbye to the world his was just a way to feel the pain. But it worked. He watched the blood trail towards his elbow with a sick sense of atonement. He didn't expect Sam to forgive him or the Carter's or Bailey's. But he did need to pay for what he'd done.

Maybe he needed the peace that came with it. Maybe he needed to be like Sam, to feel closer to her again. Maybe he needed to deal with the fact that she would be here to watch him pay for what he'd done for her. All Danny knew at this moment was, that for now this was what he needed.

****

A rather morbid first chapter but the longest one since the first half of Hello. This book is going to have longer chapters. 50 more per chapter actually. But now to thank those who reviewed the prologue: Mrs. Granger-Weasley, Terrasina Dragonwagon, wingedwish, Lady-Ashanya, Samster The Hamster, WormmonABC, Silverflare07, Ryo's destiny, AngeloflLight, YAY!!!, audi katia, pinkXfairie!, MayB, Pandemonium Fox, CoLdPLaYeR813, RavenForever, Moody Maud, RainbowSerenity, Spice of Life, Janus-Wolf, The Fuzy Llama, The Good Girl, Mujitsu Yume, Danielle Phantom, Airie, Storm Sword, Chibi Millenia Phantom, and Medisti. Thanks Everybody!


	3. Chapter Two

_**My Immortal**_

**_Summary: Danny's life becomes impossible knowing he's ruined someone else's life. It's even worse knowing it's his best friend._**

**_Rating: PG-13 for mature themes and language._**

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Danny Phantom, Butch Hartman does. I do not own My Immortal, Evanescence does._**

_**Chapter Two**_

**_And if you have to leave._**

The little four-year-old pulled his knees up closer to him. Sam wondered if she was ever that flexible. She really doubted it. Blake let out a little whimper and she gave him the most reassuring smile she could muster, which was faint. "It's alright, I promise." He looked at her. His eyes screaming at her that she was going away forever. In his mind, it was the same thing as Ryan's sudden absence.

Sam dropped down onto the edge of the bed in the drafty attic that had become her sanctuary over the past six months. "I'm not going to be gone forever. I promise, Blake, I will come back. I'll be back for your birthday in May. How bout that? You're gonna be five years old, buddy."

The boy stared back at her with the same vacant blue-green eyes. Sam sighed and reached out and brushed his bangs with the back of her hand. She sat down and draped an arm around him. Blake instantly curled into her side. Her eyes traveled to the half empty dresser and the shoebox with the things the boys had made her in it. She needed to keep packing, whoever was picking her up could be here at any time today.

March nineteenth had come much quicker than she had expected it to. And along with its quick approach came fate's sick joke. Danny's sixteenth birthday was in three days. She didn't know how she could be in the same house with him then. Birthdays were supposed to be a celebration of life. How could she go celebrate life with the person responsible for her brother and baby's deaths?

Sam got up and grabbed another stack of clothes out of the drawer. She dropped them into the box. Not that most of them would fit anymore sense they were maternity clothes. But she might as well take them and donate them back in Amity Park rather than leave it for the Carter's to do. They'd done enough for her already. She dropped her laptop onto the clothes and folded in the flaps on the cardboard box.

A slightly off-key door chime sounded distantly through the house. It was something that a couple months ago you would never have been able to hear. But that was before Ryan's death; before the deathly silence had settled. Sam turned to face Blake. His face drained of color. Sam had known this was coming but had secretly wished it wouldn't. He had become incredibly clingy after Ryan's death, not that she could blame him.

She smiled at him. "Piggyback ride?" She had always avoided giving him rides, especially when stairs were an issue but right now she didn't have the heart to not try and cheer him up. He reached up his little arms and Sam turned so he could climb on her back. She started for the stairs her mind already on what was at the bottom of them. She wondered if Danny had come with whoever drove down to pick her up. She knew that facing him was inevitable, but she didn't want it to be in front of everyone else. Then again, she wasn't sure she wanted it to be off by their selves, either.

The arms around her neck tightened bringing her back to reality as she started down the stairs from the second floor to the first. She swallowed hard as she set down Blake and just took his hand. She let him stand closer to the railing and walked slowly so he could keep up. She watched tiny fingers clutch at the wood railing. She wondered if her and the guys had ever been that small. She knew that Danny had only been five when they met and Tucker they met a year after that, but she really never remembered feeling that little.

Sam took a deep breath. She felt like wishing Danny wasn't here, but in reality it made little difference. She got to the bottom of the stairs and forced herself to look towards the door. Standing by the door, slipping off her gloves, was Jazz. She glanced over at Sam and flashed the warm open smile Jazz usually seemed to sport. "Hey, Sam."

Sam smiled weakly back. "Hey. How are you?"

She just grinned. She'd never really seen a resemblance between the two siblings but in that moment she noticed they had that same grin. She wondered which parent they'd inherited it from. "I'm good," the older teen responded. Her eyes turned to Blake. "Hey there, little guy."

Sam felt the tiny hand clutch at hers. "Blake, this is Jazz. Jazz, this is Blake." Blake stepped a little bit closer to her, clutching at the material of the denim skirt she had on. Jazz bent down slightly and gave a little princess wave. Sam almost laughed at the half-confused, half-curious expression on Blake's face.

"I just have to bring down my stuff," Sam said bringing them all back to reality.

Jazz straightened. "Here, I'll help. Just lead the way." Sam turned and started back up the stairs, noting Tammy draw Blake away to give the two girls time to talk. "So you sad to be leaving?" Jazz asked.

Sam paused mentally for a moment. There was a loaded question if she had ever heard one. Sam decided to ignore all connected issues and take the question at face value, ignoring all involved feelings. "Yeah, I'm gonna miss Amanda and the Carter's but it'll be good to be back in Amity Park."

Sam continued down the hall till she reached the door to the attic. She opened it and started up the stairs before a hand gently pulled on her elbow. Sam turned to see what was up with Jazz. The almost-eighteen-year-old pursed her lips. "Sam, have you talked to Danny lately."

With the mention of his name came a cold wave of fear. Sam forced herself to act like nothing was wrong. "Not lately. Why?"

Fear seemed to fill the older siblings eyes at this information. "I'm scared, that's why. Ever since his mysterious disappearance for a week, he's been messed up. Right after he came back he started talking less and less. Then finally he stopped talking all together. I mean totally. Sam, he's stopped eating and stopped sleeping. I was thinking this was just a phase, but I'm getting scared. I want him to get some help but Mom and Dad are insisting there's nothing wrong."

Sam drew back. She felt numb. She wasn't sure what scared her more, the fact that Danny was essentially killing himself or the look in Jazz's eyes at that moment. She took a deep yet shaky breath. The sound seemed to remind Jazz of her existence. Blue-green eyes locked with lilac. "Sam, if you know absolutely anything. You've got to tell me."

Sam pressed further back against the hand railing up the stairs. She opened her mouth, but she couldn't talk. It felt like it was impossible. "Sam, he's going to die if we don't help him." Help him. The words echoed ominously around her head. He was dying. The memory of her whispering to him that she was dying came flooding back. She couldn't turn her back on him. But then again, wasn't that exactly what Danny had done to her?

A hand clamped on to her forearm. She gasped before looking into her eyes. "Sam, do you know anything?" Sam stood there and stared for a moment. She could save his life. She could repay the act he had done for her. They would be even, and she wouldn't live with the guilt of not helping him.

Sam stared into blue-green eyes, the blue tint reminding her of one person. She swallowed. "No, I don't have a clue."

Jazz drew back, nodding slightly. "Okay," she choked out. But the look on the older Fenton's face said she didn't believe her. She knew that Sam knew more than she was telling and she intended to find out. Sam suddenly felt scared and cornered standing on those thin little stairs leading up into the place that had been her home for more than six months.

Sam turned and stared up the stairs faster than she needed to go. She got to the top of the stairs and paused waiting for Jazz to join her. Her eyes dropped to her left hand, to the cheep little ring that Ryan had bought her. He had been so proud of that ring, so excited to give it to her. She glanced around the attic one last time, savoring and trying to forget memories at the same time. She felt Jazz step up and stand beside her.

She wondered briefly if everyone who died became ghost. Or if there was actually a Heaven or a Hell. It made her feel a little better to think of Ryan sitting on a fluffy little could playing a harp, no matter how unrealistic it was. She didn't want to think of him always wondering, lost and lonely or angry and vengeful; like all the other ghost she and her friends had encountered. She hated ghost. But above all she hated memories of them. She swallowed hard against the lump in her throat. "Let's get this over with," Sam choked out.

**_Hey! I know it's been forever hope you can all forgive me. I'm gonna try to get some serious writing done before I have to go back to school! Hugs to you all. Extra special thanks to my reviewers: Val-Creative, digigrllover2811, Fox of Light, lonesome K, Terrasina Dragonwagon, loviegurlie, AREZAL, GraySkyeMourning, Hwoarangsguardie x2, autumngold x2, Sakura Scout, Moody Maud, AngeloflLight, Cooperstar and Blink, Spice Of Life, The Good Girl, YAY!!!, Zeon of the Twilight Blade x2, Cheerin4danny x2, Ryo's destiny, The Angel of Anarchy, RainbowSerenity, Silverflare07, Sakura Scout, Janus-Wolf, WormmonABC, Pandemonium Fox, DarkPunkGirl, MayB, TuffaChica, Alisa, Danielle Phantom, audi katia, The Fuzy Llama, and Mrs. Granger-Weasley. Wow, that's a lot of people. :D_**


	4. Chapter Three

_**My Immortal**_

**_Summary: Danny's life becomes impossible knowing he's ruined someone else's life. It's even worse knowing it's his best friend._**

**_Rating: PG-13 for mature themes and language._**

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Danny Phantom, Butch Hartman does. I do not own My Immortal, Evanescence does._**

**_Chapter Three_**

**_I wish that you would just leave._**

Danny awoke to the sound of his sister hollering up the stairs. He wondered when he'd fallen asleep. He had been working on his World Civics homework at four-thirty when he lat glanced at the clock. He looked towards his nightstand and groaned. It was noon; just a little passed actually. He shut the text book that was sitting on the desk before him. It was Saturday anyway. He had plenty of time to finish the last few questions.

He stood and stretched. He glanced down at the scab on his wrist. In hindsight, he almost regretted doing it. Not because it was wrong, but because his parents would probably be furious if they found out. He wished he knew for sure. Maybe he really didn't know his parents as well as he thought he did. He grabbed a sweatshirt out of his closet and pulled it on. He played with the cuff a moment making sure it covered his wrist.

Opening the door, Danny started down the stairs. He heard his mom ask Sam how she was doing. He paused not far enough down to be noticed yet. "Pretty good," came a soft voice. Danny closed his eyes. Suddenly hearing her voice seemed to pound home the point that there was no escaping her now. Whether he wanted to or not, he had to face her now. There was no running away this time.

Taking a deep breath, Danny trudged down the stairs a little louder than he needed to. All the heads in the room turned and looked at him. He pretended to be oblivious to it but he couldn't stop himself from glancing towards Sam. She'd lost almost all the weight she had put on during her pregnancy. But what hit him was the shadows under her eyes. She looked tired. A surge of self-loathing overtook him. Was life ever going to get easier for her?

He broke eye-contact and stared at the floor. Turning into the kitchen as soon as he got downstairs. He could almost picture Jazz's angry expression at the moment. He was being stupid. If he kept acting this way, everyone would know something was up. But he was afraid of what would happen when he faced her. He was honestly afraid of what would happen. He had secrets of what had happened over the past two months that he couldn't admit to her. He could hardly deal with them himself.

"What is up with you?" He spun at the sound of an angry voice. He glanced at his sister for a minute before grabbing a glass out of the cupboard. "I can take being ignored. I'm your sister, I expect to be. But she's your best friend. I'm sick of you giving silent treatment, Danny."

Danny turned on the tap and focused on the sound of the running water rather than his sister. _She's your best friend. Not you're hers._ Vlad's words echoed painfully inside of him. His grip tightened around the clear glass. He slammed of the water with more force than necessary. He walked past Jazz, not even glancing her direction. He turned out of the door to go up the stairs. But standing about four steps up was the last person he wanted to come face to face with.

Violet eyes caught his and he found himself unable to look away. There was this conviction in her eyes that he couldn't understand. But all he knew was that he couldn't look away. He stood there for a moment just staring and Sam looked down. "Hi," she murmured, brushing her hair back, tucking it behind her ear. He couldn't help but notice that it was much longer now, almost to the middle of her shoulder blade. She wasn't wearing it up today. He wondered if this was an everyday thing or just today.

He swallowed. He couldn't bring himself to respond, so he forced a slight smile and gave her a two finger wave. She looked down, then to the side. It was obvious she didn't know what to say. At least Danny was in the same boat as her. But what hit him in that instance was that the feeling of hatred was gone. But that didn't surprise him, he knew why.

Sam was the first to back down from the standoff. She slipped past him and ducked into the kitchen. The sound of her talking to Jazz reached his ears. Danny sighed, leaning against the wall. He didn't know if it was possible for someone to ruin their life like he had. It was his fault for walking into the machine. It was his fault that Sam had walked home that night. It was his fault he had killed his best friends baby.

He didn't know what he'd been expecting. He knew this would be awkward but this was the stage beyond that. This was impossible. He didn't expect her to forgive him far from it. He didn't know what he expected but this most certainly wasn't it. He wanted her to be the Sam he remembered, to having a definite opinion one way or the other.

In a weird way, he wanted to see her hate him. He didn't want to be forgiven. He disserved to be hated. He hadn't done anything to earn her forgiveness. He wished it had never happened but that wasn't merit enough to be forgiven. At least not for something of this magnitude. He wasn't lying when he told her he didn't want to be forgiven.

Which brought to mind another issue entirely. That day he'd left he'd been able to talk to her telepathically. He didn't realize he'd ever had that power. The fact that he got it right after losing his powers scared him. What if it was some sort of power that he shouldn't be using. Like some of the ones Vlad used. He was pretty sure that some of those were definitely not brought just because of his ghost powers, but the way he chose to use them.

He didn't want to become Vlad. But maybe the other half-ghost was right. Maybe this is out of his league. He wished for the countless time that things were different. He found that was all he was doing these days; wishing rather than doing. But there wasn't much he could do right these days. It almost seemed that by breathing he was offending someone. It was so frustrating.

Danny opened his eyes and ran up the stairs. Some of the water sloshed out of the glass and trailed down the back of his hand. He hardly noticed. He got to his room and slammed the door, shutting out the rest of the world. He slid to floor, setting the glass down on the floor next to him. He rested his arms on his knees. He couldn't believe how badly that had gone. He didn't know how it should have been different but that wasn't what he wanted.

He wondered if either him or Sam knew what they wanted at this point. They were almost done with Sophomore year, not quiet juniors. So why did he feel so old? He hated sitting in class everyday. It was as if there was this infinite distance between him and everyone else. He didn't know if it would ever go away. He wondered if Sam felt the same way. He didn't see how she wouldn't.

He rolled his sleeve up slightly and ran his finger over the thick scab. It had only been almost a week. He needed someway to hide it. It was pure luck that no one in P.E. hadn't noticed it yet. He wondered if anyone had noticed and not said anything to him. He couldn't see that being the case but it was possible. At least Tucker hadn't noticed.

There was another issue. Tucker was still mad at him and he couldn't figure out why. He didn't understand what he had done. It wasn't like Tuck to hold a grudge, especially when it was something so small the other one couldn't figure out what it was. In all the years Danny had known him, he hadn't done something like this. Sure, he'd been mad before. But nothing that lasted this long. He wondered if they were just growing apart. He really didn't want that to happen, especially not with Tuck.

He ran a hand over his eyes, leaning his head back against the door. He always heard growing up was hard but this was beyond that. This was the kind of thing that broke people. He silently wondered how much he and Sam could take. He hated how one thing just seemed to lead to another and everything went from bad to worse.

But the worst feeling was that all of this was his fault. The way it always went from bad to worse, and it was always him that caused it to turn. He hated the way those violet eyes that always sparkled with defiance know just looked haunted. He used to think that nothing was worse than the empty look that she used to have. He was wrong. That gaze of haunted betrayal was worse than anything he could imagine. And he hated knowing that he caused it.

**_Hey. If Danny chapters liked me this would have been out earlier. I will write at least two more before Monday. I promise. They are 50 longer than before. That's my treat for making it this far into the series. Here's to the VIPs of the day: fan, Terrasina Dragonwagon, Ryo's destiny, getfuzzyfan04, cheerin4danny, AngeloflLinght, RainbowSerenity, Janus-Wolf, DarkPunkGirl, MayB, The Fuzy Llama, Mrs. Granger-Weasley, Moody Maud, Spice of Life, The Angel of Anarchy, Sakura Scout, AREZAL, Chibi Millenia Phantom, WormmonABC, Samster the Hamster x2, Wind91Rider, and The Good Girl. Non-silent readers rule my world._**


	5. Chapter Four

_**My Immortal**_

**_Summary: Danny's life becomes impossible knowing he's ruined someone else's life. It's even worse knowing it's his best friend._**

**_Rating: PG-13 for mature themes and language._**

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Danny Phantom, Butch Hartman does. I do not own My Immortal, Evanescence does._**

**_Chapter Four_**

**_Cause your presence still lingers here._**

Sam held up another shirt. Jazz glanced over and grinned at her. "That one's cute," the older teen commented. Sam held up the black shirt with some sort of blue and silver oriental design on it. Sam nodded. "Don't tell me your joining my brother and becoming a mute."

Sam smiled slightly. "Nah." She hooked the hanger for the shirt around her wrist so she could try it on. The Fenton's had promised to let her go clothes shopping but just sending her and Jazz out with a credit card and telling them to use judgment hadn't been what she was expecting. But it was turning out to be a fun afternoon. It was sort of refreshing to just be a normal teenage girl, even if it was just for a little while.

"Good!" The red-haired girl sighed. "I knew he wasn't speaking to any of us but I figured he would talk to you." She glanced toward the goth teen. Sam felt uncomfortable under the blue-green gaze. So she just shrugged. "Well, I just think it's weird, that's all."

Sam fingered the edge of a shirt before moving on. "We had a fight, sort of."

"What happened?" This must have surprised the older girl because she stopped looking through the rack for a moment. Sam bit her lip. She wanted Jazz's advice on what to do but she couldn't bring herself to tell her. "Did it involve his disappearance?"

Sam nodded, tucking her hair behind her ear. It was almost becoming habit to do that when she was nervous. "Yeah, in a way…" Jazz just stared at her and it was clear that Sam was stuck, no backing out at this point. "I'd rather not talk about it, Jazz."

Sam brushed past her and started looking at a skirt. She heard the senior whistle. "That bad, huh?"

"Jazz," she sighed, flipping through clothes. "I really don't want to talk about it. Let's go try on stuff okay?" Without waiting for an answer, Sam took off towards the dressing rooms. She knew this wasn't fair the way she was treating Jazz at the moment but she couldn't help it. Jazzmine had a tendency to stick her nose where it didn't belong and this was one Sam was just not going to tell her. No matter what.

Sam slammed and locked the door behind her. "Sam!" She almost groaned inwardly. "I don't get why you two can't just apologize to each other. I'm sure whatever he said he didn't mean it."

Sam pulled a shirt over her head before replying. "It's not what he said, it's what he did."

She heard the other girl scoff. "My brother does stupid stuff all the time. It's the one common theme in Danny's life is doing things before thinking." Sam adjusted the skirt she had on while trying to decide how to answer that. Danny did stupid stuff, true. But that was like trying to take on something he knew he couldn't handle by himself. Nothing of this magnitude.

"You know what? I think you need to be the bigger person and forgive him," Jazz's voice said again. Sam unlocked the door and stepped out to stair at the older girl. She grinned. "That looks cute. Do you like it?"

Sam shook her head, brushing aside a strand that insisted on falling in her eyes. "Forget the clothes for a second. I didn't do anything wrong. I am not apologizing."

Jazz stared at her. Sam always hated that look, like she could just stare right into you and figure everything out. She always used to do it, especially when she used to question Danny freshman year. It was weird how she had just suddenly stopped. Sam had suggested that maybe she had figured his secret out, but both the guys assured her that hadn't happened. "So don't apologize, just forgive him."

Sam scoffed. "Do you hear yourself when you talk?"

"Sam, something is obviously wrong. I think maybe it's the fact that you hate him." Jazz flipped her hair behind her shoulder.

Sam spun and faced the three paneled mirror. She smoothed an imaginary wrinkle from the skirt. "I don't _hate_ Danny."

"But you're not his best friend anymore."

Sam spun on her heel. "I never said that. There's nobody I'm closer to than Danny." Sam hoped she looked more convicting than she felt. It was a technical answer and deep down she knew it. There was no one who knew her better than Danny but she wasn't sure if she could be his best friend anymore. It hurt too much. It was like saying 'It's okay you killed my family.' Sam couldn't stand that thought. It wasn't okay that Ryan and Jacob were dead, far from it.

Sam stared into Jazz's blue green eyes for a few seconds before looking away. "You don't know what you're talking about?"

Jazz pushed herself out of the chair she was sitting in by the corner. "Maybe. But that's only cause you're trying to get me to give you advice without telling me anything." Sam didn't know what hurt more, the insinuation that she didn't trust Jazz or the fact that what she was saying was true.

Sam turned and started back towards the dressing room. She paused and half-turned. "I can't tell you. I mean, even if I wanted to, I can't."

"That's as good as admitting you don't want to tell me, Sam."

The dark-haired girl turned back to face her best friend's sister. "It's not that I don't want to tell you. It's one of those things where it's not just my secret, its Danny's too."

Jazz rolled her eyes. "Good luck getting him to tell it."

"Maybe you should stop ragging on him constantly. Maybe he's got something going on that he needs to work out by himself." Jazz stared at her for a moment as if she couldn't believe what she was hearing.

Jazz sighed. "I know you're right. I'm just so _sick_ of waiting for him to work in out on his own. He's had three months to work it out on his own. I know nagging isn't going to help. It's just frustrating to see him shut me out like this. He's my little brother."

"Maybe that's the problem," Sam said softly. "He's not the little Danny we both grew up with. He's changing, Jazz. He's growing up, or being forced to. Danny's been through more than enough but he's still always kept that positive outlook he always had. He's always been the good guy and now he's starting to question that. We need to be there for him."

Suddenly what Sam was saying slapped her in the face. She was yelling at Jazz for the same thing she was doing. True Danny had done horrible things but so had she. Maybe not to the same degree but she still knew how it felt. Boy did she ever. "Jazz, after this store, can we go home?"

The older girl seemed to be studying her. "You want to?"

"That would be why I asked," Sam bit out sarcastically.

Sam turned and walked back into the dressing room. She still hadn't forgave him, far from it. But she decided that maybe this was about more than her forgiveness. Maybe it was just about her not being there for him anymore. He needed her and she turned around and did the opposite. That was the same thing that her parents had done to her a year ago. She had wanted them to be understanding and forgiving and work through it with her. She at least owed Danny the same thing she wanted.

She could try to figure out how she felt without condoning what he'd done right? Sam leaned back against the wall of the dressing room. When did life get so confusing? When did it go from black and white to grayscale? She hated gray mater. It made everything so much more confusing.

She wanted it back to normal. But above all she wanted her best friend back. How many nights had she sat up in that attic just wishing she was back with Danny and his family? Maybe wishing was pointless. Over the past year, where had it gotten her? No where. It was Danny who had supported her, putting all his own things on hold, despite how he felt about what she was doing. He had just been there. Maybe she just wasn't as good of friend as him.

She frowned as she slipped of the top and put back on her normal one. She was his best friend, always had been. He counted on her to not let him down. She promised herself she was going to do a better job. Even if she didn't forgive him, she didn't want to see him destroy himself. Sure there relationship was rough at the moment, but she didn't see how it could get any worse. That just wasn't possible.

**_Wow. New chapter. And the next ones already started. I'm so proud of myself. But you know who I'm really proud of? My fabulous fans: The Fuzy Llama, Spice of Life, Dannys-Ghostly-Girl, autumngold, Ryo's destiny, Blackjewel6666, getfuzzyfan04, Fox of Light, Chibi Millenia Phantom, The Good Girl, Moody Maud, Mr. Delmont, Hwoarangsguardie, Sakura Scout, Chicken Person, MayB, The Angel of Anarchy, WormmonABC, and Wind91Rider. You guys are so supportive it's amazing._**


	6. Chapter Five

_**My Immortal**_

**_Summary: Danny's life becomes impossible knowing he's ruined someone else's life. It's even worse knowing it's his best friend._**

**_Rating: PG-13 for mature themes and language._**

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Danny Phantom, Butch Hartman does. I do not own My Immortal, Evanescence does._**

**_Chapter Five_**

_**And it won't leave me alone.**_

Sam's hand paused a split second before she knocked. The ring Ryan gave her glinted at her in the dim light of the upstairs hall. She drew her hand back and let it fall to her side. She wanted to forgive him, but it was so hard. Every time she thought about all the times he'd put his life on hold, or at risk, for her made her realize how much she was giving up by just letting their friendship fall apart. But then again, if he'd turned on her once, what was to stop him from doing it a second time?

"I can't believe you're giving up that easy," came a scornful voice.

Sam turned and glared at the girl hovering down the hall at the top of the stairs. "You just want me to talk to him so you won't have to."

Jazz shook her head before brushing her hair back behind her shoulder. "I'm worried about you both. I don't know what's going on but it worries me and you two are going to work it out."

Sam regarded her critically for a moment or two. "What if it's not that simple?" She couldn't begin to tell them how complicated it was. She opened her mouth to say something but was cut off by the squeak of Danny's door opening. She turned and stared at him. He stared back no emotion in his blue eyes. They seemed darker than she remembered but maybe she was imagining it.

Suddenly a hand on her back shoved her towards Danny. She shot Jazz a dirty look. She just turned to them both. "You two are going to go in there and talk. Or Sam can talk and Danny can stay mute, whatever. I just can't live in a house with whatever's going on going on. Now you have fifteen minutes."

Sam was fully prepared to tell Jazz exactly what she could do with her interfering attitude, but suddenly a hand clamped down on her wrist and Danny gently drug her inside his room and shut the door. Sam stood in the middle of her room feeling lost. She didn't know what to say but apparently Danny wanted to talk to her.

She glanced over at him as he dropped onto the edge of the bed.His bangs fell down hiding his eyes.He definitely needed a haircut.Yet, his over-grown bangs seemed to accent his cheekbones. Not that that was hard to do, his cheeks looked terribly sunken in and his jawbone seemed far more prominent than it should.His skin seemed a little more sallow than she remembered.Sam felt her breath catch.Jazz's words echoed in her head.He's stopped eating and sleeping.  
She bit her lip.She knew it had to be her that started.But what could she say to the person who she had trusted more than anything in the world, who turned around and betrayed her.She felt stabbed in the back.She knew that he couldn't have been in his right mind but that didn't make it hurt any less. Sam tried her hardest not to blame him. But when she would lie in bed at night all she could think was if he tried harder he could have stopped it.He could have fought back.

He looked up at her at that thought, almost as if he had heard it.He cleared his throat and started to speak. Though the first few words weren't really intelligible, what she did catch we "so sorry."Sam shook her head, cutting him off."I can't talk about it yet."She could hardly believe herself. The past three months, she had imagined up all sorts of ways this conversation could have gone.Now that it was here, she would rather talk about anything but the subject.

His eyes seemed to darken with pain but he nodded.His gaze fell to his lap and hers followed.His hands were resting aimlessly against his knees.She swallowed."When did you start wearing a watch?"Danny lifted his left wrist and stared at it as if he had never seen it before.

"My dad got it for me for my birthday," he replied softly.His voiced sounded hoarse from not being used, as if every word took great effort."I asked for it."

"Oh," she replied."Don't people normally wear watches on the hand they write with?"His head snapped up at that. His gaze seemed much more intent than normal, almost angry.The thought sent a shiver through her.But it wasn't anger; it was more like a guarded look.His jaw was set though and that added to it. "Sorry," Sam amended quickly.

He seemed to visibly relax slightly. "It's okay.It's nothing I can't trust you with."He looked down and his gaze seemed to narrow."You're not the one who did anything wrong."

It was Sam's turn to go rigid."I said I don't want to talk about it."

"Sam, if we both keep this up, we'll never talk about it.I can't stand knowing that your falling asleep down the hall and you still hate me."

Sam swallowed."I don't hate you."

Danny shook his head, a hollow look coming to his eyes."But you can't be in the same room as me?"

"I'm here now, aren't I?"But despite the confidence in her voice, she knew that was what had been going on for the past two days.They hadn't spent more than five minutes in the same room since she arrived.

He shot her an apprehensive glance. "Because my sister made you," he accused.Sam didn't respond.She didn't know how to.He sighed."I know I can't put this into words," he paused.Sam felt the panic bubble up inside her at the prospect of facing this conversation."I'm so sorry it happened, Sam.I would rather have died than hurt you."

Sam willed the tears filling her eyes away, but she knew it was pointless. "Well, you did."

"Don't you think I know that?" He was suddenly on his feet."Don't you think I have to go through every day knowing that?"Sam bit her lip.She wanted to cut him off but didn't dare.  
He walked past her and stared out the window.He stood there against the light, just a tense-shouldered silhouette."It'll never happen again."

Sam started at that sentence."What do you mean," she asked dimly.

He spun to face her."It won't happen again.I made sure it wouldn't, Sam. Danny Phantom won't hurt anyone ever again."Her confusion must have showed on his face.He sighed walking back over and falling backwards onto his bed. "Nevermind.You're not ready for this."

Sam felt an indignant feeling swell in her chest."I'm what?"She looked down at him.She couldn't help but notice she could see the bottom few ribs through his shirt.She almost felt sick.She wished she could tell herself she had nothing to do with that but she did.

"Sam, this is my secret.I don't want to burden you with it."

Something inside her snapped at that statement."Burden me?Burden me," she repeated, her voice taking on an almost hysterical edge."I've had to live with the knowledge that my best friend killed my brother and my baby and didn't even care enough to call."

He sat up quickly and his eyes lost focus for a second as if it had hurt tremendously.Sam felt a pang of regret but not enough to make her take back her words."And if I had called, Sam? What would you have done?Hung up the phone on me!I had to sit here for three and a half months dwelling over the fact that I had the blood of three innocent people dripping from my hands! And you want to know something else, Sam?It wasn't my fault!"A dry sob seemed to work its way out."I didn't have any control over it."

Sam just stood drinking in his words, not sure how else to respond.Danny's eyes softened as he seemed to visibly break before her."You've got to believe me," he whispered softly, anguish shining in his blue eyes.

Sam almost cracked.She stepped a few step forward, standing so close she could feel his warm breath against her cheek.In that instant she did the one thing that she could think to do; rammed her fist hard into his stomach.

Danny gasped for breath, doubling over slightly."Sorry," Sam said softly, but without a hint of remorse."I didn't have any control over that."With that, she spun on her heel and ran from the room.

**_Yay! New chapter I hope you all like it. And about the way I spelled Jazzmine, that's the way it's spelled on the character section at and in all the other Nick things. So, if anyone can show me where it's spelled normal, I'll change it. Sorry if I upset anyone. Here's to my reviewers: Amiee, Zeon of the Twilight Blade x3, The Fuzy Llama, BunnyGirl, august x2, kitty00240, pnktears, autumngold, Hwoarangsguardie, Dannys-Ghostly-Girl, Fox of Light, DarkPunkGirl, Spice of Life, Cat o'thWind, osparrow x2, cheerin4danny, Ryo's destiny, RainbowSerenity, Mrs. Granger-Weasley x2, WormmonABC, Janus-Wolf, Moody Maud, Sakura Scout, The Good Girl, Wind91Rider, AngeloflLight x2, MayB, Kagome51, and Chibi Millenia Phantom. You guys are so cool I don't know what to do to thank you..._**


	7. Chapter Six

**_My Immortal_**

**_Summary: Danny's life becomes impossible knowing he's ruined someone else's life. Its even worse knowing it's his best friend._**

**_Rating: PG-13 for mature themes and language._**

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Danny Phantom, Butch Hartman does. I do not own My Immortal, Evanescence does._**

**_Chapter Six_**

**_These wounds won't seem to heal._**

Danny ran his finger over the edge of the envelope. Of all the days, Vlad certainly knew how to pick the bad ones. Just another reminder that the older man was always watching. The gold seal that was pressed over the tip of the envelope flap glinted in the five o'clock light that managed to creep through the south windows of his room. Danny stared at it intently. Vladimir Masters. It was just a name that sounded like an elderly evil genius.

Danny tossed it to his side and drew his knee up. Letting his eyes drift shut he tried to ignore the past twenty-four hours. Sam and him had walked home together today by themselves and not a word had been said. She wouldn't even look at him. He should have kept his mouth shut last time. She wasn't ready to acknowledge everything that had happened. He knew that; he had known that going into this. So why had he brought it up?

He felt so stupid. He had alienated his best friend, killed in cold blood, and made a promise with a man who might as well have been the devil himself. He rubbed his eyes with the heel of his hands. Since when had life gotten this trying? The past year and a half had been more than anyone else could have dealt with. Danny reached up and undid the watch tossing it to the bed lightly. He stared at the light brown scab across the width of his arm. The edges were starting to come lose, it was healing. Danny wasn't sure how he felt about that. Cutting himself had been stupid, but he did need it. He felt better knowing that the experience had left scaring. It was almost comforting, knowing it would be that much harder to forget and move on from.

He stared for a moment before dropping his hand next to the envelope again. He closed his eyes, to tired to deal with either issue at the moment. He let his mind wander back through the day. He should at least try to remember if he had homework in World Civics. That class was mandatory, he had to pass it to graduate. The were talking about federal banks. At least that was the last thing he remembered talking about. He remembered writing the date at the top of his notes for today and writing Happy Birthday in dark script next to it. If this wasn't how someone spent their sixteenth he didn't know what was.

Sam knocked lightly on the door and shifted her weight. "Danny," she called again. He didn't answer. Sam twisted the handle and cracked it enough to look in and see the computer. She expected him to be working on homework like he'd told Jazz in as few words as possible but he wasn't sitting there. His books were but he was no where to be seen. She pushed the door open listening to the old hinges squeak. "Danny?"

The room was dim with only the last few rays of sunlight creeping through. She bit her lip before slipping in. She pushed the door shut behind her. She stepped lightly over to the bed and studied Danny. His face was still pale and he seemed much thinner than she remembered. But the thing she noticed the most was the whole positive aura Danny had always possessed about him was gone. That was probably the aspect she had missed most. _It's because you hate him_.

"I don't hate him," Sam breathed. She stared down at him. Something had to change if this kept up he was going to kill himself. And no matter what he'd done, he didn't deserve that. Danny had been the one that had taught her that. She stared guiltily at her own wrist. Danny had put his own life and feelings on hold for her. She could at least _try_ and do the same for him. She brought her eyes up slowly and noticed the envelope.

Sam gingerly picked up the envelope turning it over. It was addressed to Danny. The envelope felt thick almost formal. Sam turned it over and instantly knew why. Her mind froze. Vlad and the favor; she had completely forgotten. She glanced quickly to Danny again. She still had no idea what had happened when he had gone back the next weekend, followed by his disappearance. She turned it over. There was Vlad's personal seal on the opening. Sam cursed mentally. There was no way she could open it and not have him know. But now she knew about it and she wasn't going to leave him to deal with this alone.

Even if she wasn't happy with him, he had been her best friend for almost her whole life. That wasn't exactly something you could just disregard. Sam dropped the letter lightly to his side. Her eyes traveled the watch that he had suddenly started wearing. The few times in his life Danny had been required to wear a watch, he did nothing but complain. There had to be some reason he had suddenly started wearing it. She reached her hand out towards it.

"Sam?" She jumped at the sound of her voice. Startled violet eyes met sleepy blue ones. "Come back to hit me again?" He looked so apprehensive as he said it that Sam couldn't pretend not to see it.

Sam tried to ignore the resentment in his voice. "Okay," she started wearily. "I deserved that. I came to get you up. Your family wants to do cake and gifts now."

"Oh yeah," he mumbled. His eyes drifted shut and he grimaced as he sat up. "Happy birthday to me," he chortled condescendingly.

Sam glared for a moment. "Maybe if you were more pleasant about it, it would be happy."

"I'm glad that I'm getting advice this time around."

Sam hand instantly went to her hip. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Suddenly the fight seemed to go out of him, as if he had suddenly realized what he was doing. "Nothing. Let's go. And you can pretend to like me for my family."

"I don't _pretend_ to like you." She watched as Danny got up on the opposite side of the bed she was standing on. He stared out the now darkened window on his wall.

Danny reached over and turned on the light by his bed and straightened slowly. "Either your acting in front of them or you do a really great job of pretending to hate me when your in a room with just me." He turned as he said this, scooping up the watch.

Sam stood there in shook for a moment. She couldn't believe this. "Maybe if you would at least attempt to be civil."

"In front of people you mean." Danny glanced up from working with the clasp on his watch. "Even you don't attempt to be civil when it's just me."

Sam tore her eyes away from the watch, her thoughts again turning to why he was wearing it. "Maybe if you would give me a reason to be—"

"Maybe if you weren't always on the defensive around me."

"Ever think there's a reason for that," she bit out tauntingly. As soon as the words were out there she wished she could reach out into the air and pull them back. Danny's face melted into an empty mask. "Danny, I—" She let her voice trail of, hanging in the now charged air between them.

He shook his head. "Don't. We'll end up saying something stupid and ruining dinner for everybody else." He picked up the envelope and tossed it into his nightstand drawer on top of his map of the ghost zone and a few letters from last year in study hall that he had kept. Sam's gaze lingered on the drawer even after he shut it. "Oh and Sam." She brought her gaze up and let it fasten upon his. "My mom's really big on birthdays."

Sam tucked her hair behind her ear, flipping it over her shoulder. "I know I've been there for the past ten."

"Just try to be my friend just for tonight?" Sky-blue met amethyst and Sam found herself unable to look away. There was something deeper there she couldn't recognize; something almost frightening. She tore her gaze from his and fixed it on where his bedspread touched the floor. She just nodded. "Thanks, Sam. That's all I'm asking."

With that he turned and started from the room. With one backward glance at the drawer, Sam followed mutely behind.

****

Hey, I'm sorry it took so long and if you need to know why, see below. I will try to write more often but I can't make any promises. Huge thanks to: lonesome K, Zeon of the Twilight Blade x4, antonia, cheerin4danny x 2, gothmiko, Aimee x4, Anne Camp aka Obi-quiet, antonia, August x4, Osparrow, konijnemans, Airie, The Fuzy Llama, purrbaby101, Terrasina Dragonwagon, Fox of Light, Mrs. Granger-Weasley, autumngold, audi katia, Dannys-Ghostly-Girl, Moody Maud, AngelofLight, Cat o'thWind, Kitty00240 x2, Lazytologin, Hwoarangsgaurdie, Cooperstar and Blink, Ryo's Destiny, Spice of Life, BunnyGirl x2, Yayfulness x2, getfuzzyfan04, Draka Firestorm, WormmonABC, Sakura Scout, Wind91Rider, and MayB.

I'm going to try to be really nice here cause I know I'm only talking to about three people who are ruining it for the rest of the people. I am currently attending high school full-time, college part-time, and night classes at a junior college. I am working two jobs, golf course receptionist and children's library clerk. In short, I'm one of the busiest seventeen-year-olds you'll ever meet. I'm not trying to be mean, but it makes me feel horrible when I check my email and see reviews telling me "Where are you? What happened to constant updates?" I appreciate the people who asked how I was doing, you guys were great. I realize that I have an obligation to you guys. Believe me, I started this I am going to finish it. But I also have an obligation to my teachers, employers, and myself. I'm trying as hard as I can to please everybody and I have cut back hours on both my jobs so hopefully I will be able to write more often. All I'm asking of you guys is that you be patient with me. I promise I will update so you can stop worrying about that. I'm not trying to sound mean, I mean I was so upset that reviewers were mad at me I broke down and cried in front of my friends the other night. I am trying my hardest, so please just give me a little patience?


	8. Chapter Seven

**__**

My Immortal

Summary: Danny's life becomes impossible knowing he's ruined someone else's life. It's even worse knowing it's his best friend.

Rating: PG-13 for mature themes and language.

Disclaimer: I do not own Danny Phantom, Butch Hartman does. I do not own My Immortal, Evanescence does.

Chapter Seven

This pain is just too real.

Danny forced a slight smile as his mom turned the camera on him. It was obviously not convincing; he could read that in Jazz's expression. His mom always recorded birthdays. She claimed that way,onecould look back and see how much they had changed in a year. He wondered what would go through her head when she watched this birthday years later. The better question was; what would he think?

Sam dropped into the seat next to his. He tried not to stare at her, but watched her out of the corner of his eye. There was some other reason she had been in his room. If that was it, why hadn't she just hollered from the door? He couldn't help but notice the look that passed between the two girls when he had entered the room. Though Sam had only been here about three days, she and Jazz seemed to already have their secrets. Must have been that they were sharing a room now.

He hated to admit it, but he was slightly jealous of Jazz and Sam's new found closeness. He felt bad for begrudging themabout the closeness. Sam needed somebody to talk to, especially another girl. But all that kept going through Danny's mind was that it used to be him who Sam shot those looks at. But now that there was this wall between them it suddenly seemed like she would never be able to confide in him again. In all reality, though, he deserved it completely. But it was still a little disturbing how fast she could find a new best friend.

Danny sighed, trying not to focus on the negative. "You want to open presents or have cake first?" Maddie asked, sounding almost overly cheerful. He dropped his gaze to the table,scanning the acid-burned wood grain. He remembered when he was little and his parents got the house all decked out for his birthday. This year you could hardly tell it was a different day than most. He looked at his mom and just shrugged, hoping to keep his face emotionless.

"Talk," Sam hissed. He turned and studied her for a moment. Her violet eyes had almost a gray tint to them. He wondered if it was just a trick of the light or if it was just something he had never noticed before. It seemed so trivial, but he felt better for noticing it. "Talk," she whispered again. There was something in her eyes that seemed almost half between a plea and a command.

Danny opened his mouth to ask what she was talking about when his mom placed the cake in front of him with lit candles. He half registered his dad blathering to his mother about the candles attracting unwanted otherworld visitors. His mother shushed his father assuring him that aghosthad never invaded a Fenton Birthday Party yet. Danny's eyes never left Sam as her gaze dropped to the table. His mother straightened and started the ever-off key song of happy birthday. Danny wondered how old you had to become before people stopped singing to you and just wished you happy birthday.

"Make a wish, son," his father chimed as the song finished. Danny stared at the flickering lights for a moment. The little dancing flames brought to mind different birthday parties with much different atmospheres to them. He looked over at Sam who looked much older than she had at his fifteenth and even then she hadn't been the happiest.

Sure, Danny had a wish. He didn't even really know what it was. It was more than a wish; it was an overwhelming feeling of regret. He wished that nothing had changed since he was thirteen. He wished Tucker was here and Sam was still sporting her little gothic scowl with that sparkle in her eye. "I wish Sam and I had never gotten hurt."

The second it slipped out Danny wished it hadn't. There hadn't been much noise in the room before he said the statement, but as soon as he muttered it the silence seemed to become stifling. Danny tried his hardest to look at Sam, to apologize, take the words back, anything to break the silence that seemed to wrap its way around him, threatening to squeeze the air out of him.

Sam jumped into the growing silence, cutting it short. "May I be excused?" She was already pushing her chair away from the table. Danny watched his parents exchange a look and his mom nod. Sam threw the paper napkin that she had clenched in her hand into the garbage by the door as she stormed from the room.

The Fenton family sat in silence for a split second. "Jazz, dear," her mother started,"Why don't you go talk with Sam."

"I have a better idea," Jazz stated, "How about Danny go talk to her?" Danny instantly looked wide-eyed at his sister. "Oh, please. It's your fault she's in a tizzy anyway. The least you can do is go deal with it." Danny stared at her, not entirely believing what was coming out of her mouth. When her expectant stare continued, Danny leaned forward blowing out all the candles in a single try, slid out of his chair, and started towards the door.

After a quick survey of the house he still couldn't find Sam. Danny thudded back down the stairs, taking them more quickly than necessary. Stopping at the bottom he surveyed the room wandering a little further into the living room. It took him a double take to realize what was wrong. The door to the lab was open about six inches. He wandered over, slipping in and closing the door behind him.

He went down the stairs much more slowly this time. The eerie turquoise glow cast over the room with its swirling shadows was all too familiar. Danny hadn't been down here in weeks and when he'd left then he hadn't had any intention of returning to it ever again. But things change. He scoffed inwardly. If that wasn't becoming his mantra, he didn't know what was.

Walking over slowly, he stared into the swirling depths of the portal. The luminescence swirled with the shadows,giving it an almost menacing appearance. He hit the switch and turned. Sam stared back at him from where she was kneeling in the corner by the door. He couldn't have been three feet from her when he walked in.

The two just stared at each other for a moment, neither willing to say anything. Sam stood up and walked further into the room. "I would be mad at you, but I don't think you have any idea how aggravating you are."

Danny just stared at her blankly, the look conveying he had no idea what she was talking about. Sam rolled her eyes. Stalking past him, she faced the portal. Danny watched as she shivered and wrapped her arms around herself. "Do you realize how big a hypocrite you are being?"

Danny blinked. Of all the things he was expecting to come out of her mouth, that wasn't one of them. "What's that supposed to mean?" He instantly regretted how confrontational that sounded.

Sam's shoulders seemed to freeze but she didn't turn around. "It just is really bothering me that the person that swore up and down that there was nothing worth throwing your life away over is now doing just that."

A cold chill crept over Danny at hearing Sam talking about this whole situation so casually. "This is different," he stated, trying to put as much finality in his voice as possible.

Sam spun on her ankle. "How?" she spat. "Because this time you have to actually deal with it?"

"No!" Danny glanced behind her to the portal and back again in a split second. Meeting her eyes, it was obvious she noticed the little flicker. "It just is, okay?"

Danny turned and started towards the stairs. "Would you stop giving evasive answers!" She reached out and grabbed his arm, jerking him around. "And stop trying to run away." He turned but stared resolutely at the corner. "Oh, for the love of--" Sam muttered. Danny studied her out of his peripheral vision. She looked about ready to shake him till his teeth rattled.

Silence seemed to stretch on. Sensing that neither of them were giving in on this, Danny dropped his gaze to hers. Her jaw was still set, her eyebrows still knitted,but in her eyes was this look of despondence he hadn't seen on her face for a while. "It's just different," he said, surprising himself with the defeated sound in his voice.

Sam snorted and looked back at him. "Right," she bit out. She walked past him in a huff,jamming her shoulder into him. He listened as she stomped her way across the floor but suddenly the footsteps stopped. Caught off guard, he turned to see her standing at the bottom of the staircase. She seemed frozen for a moment, then looked at him over her shoulder. "You know I believed every single thing you told me about not giving up, about fighting your way out. In my mind, you had already conquered all forms of adversity in that year. It just hurts to find out it was all a lie for you."

It hurt worse than any accident or beating that he had taken over the past few years of ghost fighting. Sam took three steps up the stairs when it occurred to him that he may have single handedly undone all the healing Sam had gone through in the past year and a half. "Sam, wait a sec!"

Half way up the stairs, her steps only seemed to falter momentarily. "Why should I?" The betrayal in her voice stung but he deserved it.

Taking a deep breath, Danny gathered every ounce of courage at his disposal. "Because you need to know the whole story. Not just half of it." He glanced at his watch, not even caring what time it read. "Just listen, Sam. That's all I'm asking you."

**__**

Hey guys! First of all I want to thank 95 of you for being totally understanding sweethearts. You guys are totally amazing. I'm sure some of you noticed that this chapter has much fewer errors. I want you all to give a HUGE shout out in your reviews to my new editor. I think she has an account on FF.N but I'm not entirely sure what it is so you all can just leave it in a review and then I'll send her an email with all your glorious praise for a better quality of story! She's been a tremendous help, is totally easy to work with, and volunteers her time out of the goodness of her heart. J But enough about me, on to thanking you guy! My fabulous reviewers this time are: Lateraina Wolf, jen-jen12, whoo, Yayfulness x2, antonia x4, Mako-Magic x2, Encouraging fan, bbmylove, Ransomed Heart, Live2Write4Ever, WormmonABC, skittles-Chan x2, Seeiko, Zeon of the Twilight Blade, D a r k n e s s in H e a r t, Hwoarangsguardie, MayB, Cat o'thWind, Indome, Peircing blue, Tuckers-Ghostly-Girl, cmartist, Cheerin4danny, The Halfa Wannabe, Spice Of Life, Ryo's destiny, Lightning Streak, gothmiko, getfuzzyfan04, Sakura Scout, Wind91Rider, ames x2, Moody Maud, purrbaby101, Aeris9919, The Good Girl, Mujitsu Yume, and Terrasina Dragonwagon. You guys make this all worth the effort.

Plus, I wanted to let you all know that Fallen is all up, and typically is updated sooner, on DeviantArt so if you guys have an account feel free and check me out. Same user name, I'm not all that creative. I have some stories that are on DA and not on here. It's compensation cause those guys don't get On the Way Down. And fellow deviants have been totally generous with all the fanart they have drawn for Fallen so feel free to check that out. I have links to most of it in my journal, I'll get some more links on there soon.


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